If you had to guess the way you would die and had to pick between a car accident and getting stuck by lightning, you would probably guess the car accident. Or, if you had to bet on whether you would lose all of your money at a black jack table or win a million at the slots, you would likely bet on the loss. You would make the decisions because the law of probabilities and statistics are on your side. But if you had to gamble on the reason why your man might leave being either you or him, chances are you would take the wrong position. See, the reason why men leave has to do with the level of attention we give them; therefore, we can say, fairly, that we are the reason they leave. This statement lacks acceptance, naturally.
When we look at the reason why men leave, we need to take an introspective approach. But let's narrow down this "attention" term. No two men are the same, so realistically no two men crave the same type of attention. While some want respect and a lot of interest from a woman, most want flat-out admiration.
So, when we get a man we want to keep (or when we have just lost a man and want to figure out why), we should determine their desire for attention or the kind of attention that will keep them with us. With the odds on our side that "admiration" is the right type of attention, we might want to start with this. Determining how to admire our man the right way, then, because the true question. (Realize that we don't literally have to admire them, we just need to show them admiration; these are two different things).
Many women spend time creating sophisticated theories for the reason why men leave. Theories about how our man preferred that we wore more make up (making him a superficial jerk), theories about how our man likes us better in short skirts instead of comfortable sweats (making him a pervert), theories about how he liked us better when we laughed at his jokes (meaning he isn't funny anymore?) and so on. These theories, however, enable us to shift the blame to him, when really is our behavior that makes him feel this way -- if we continued to laugh at the terrible jokes, would he leave? This is a good question, one we have to weigh for ourselves.
In keeping with the premise of admiration as the type of attention most men crave, it starts to makes why some men find another woman. And, in most cases, that other woman seems to lack our same level of intelligence (she laughs at everything), she seems less conservative (she wears things you would find on the clearance racks at the Stag Shop), and she is either younger, has had cosmetic surgery, or wears a slab of make-up. Of course, this is a generalization, but these are the types of comments women make when asked about the other woman.
At the end of the day, the reason men leave has a lot to do with their attention needs, with their need for our admiration. Earlier in the relationship, we provided that admiration. Our man soaked in it, loved it, and kept coming back for more. Other women never caught their attention. Our man seemed interested in us, they worked at keeping us happy. Over time, their interested waned. And admired them less and less. It became a never-ending cycle until they became interested in someone else. And here we are, wondering what has changed.
Worrying about the reason why men leave is counterproductive and gets us nowhere. To make progress, we would be wise to understand the basics of the male ego so we can cater to it. By doing so, we can worry less about them losing interest in us, about them finding someone else. Unfortunately, this level of understanding takes a bit of work on our part, but once we peel away all of those layers and have a true understanding of their needs and the type of admiration they need, we can deliver precisely what they want. As a benefit to us, we will see this attention channeled back from them. We will feel appreciated more, loved more, and so on. Everyone is happy. Like our teachers always said, "treat others as you want others to treat you." It goes a long way. - 15784
When we look at the reason why men leave, we need to take an introspective approach. But let's narrow down this "attention" term. No two men are the same, so realistically no two men crave the same type of attention. While some want respect and a lot of interest from a woman, most want flat-out admiration.
So, when we get a man we want to keep (or when we have just lost a man and want to figure out why), we should determine their desire for attention or the kind of attention that will keep them with us. With the odds on our side that "admiration" is the right type of attention, we might want to start with this. Determining how to admire our man the right way, then, because the true question. (Realize that we don't literally have to admire them, we just need to show them admiration; these are two different things).
Many women spend time creating sophisticated theories for the reason why men leave. Theories about how our man preferred that we wore more make up (making him a superficial jerk), theories about how our man likes us better in short skirts instead of comfortable sweats (making him a pervert), theories about how he liked us better when we laughed at his jokes (meaning he isn't funny anymore?) and so on. These theories, however, enable us to shift the blame to him, when really is our behavior that makes him feel this way -- if we continued to laugh at the terrible jokes, would he leave? This is a good question, one we have to weigh for ourselves.
In keeping with the premise of admiration as the type of attention most men crave, it starts to makes why some men find another woman. And, in most cases, that other woman seems to lack our same level of intelligence (she laughs at everything), she seems less conservative (she wears things you would find on the clearance racks at the Stag Shop), and she is either younger, has had cosmetic surgery, or wears a slab of make-up. Of course, this is a generalization, but these are the types of comments women make when asked about the other woman.
At the end of the day, the reason men leave has a lot to do with their attention needs, with their need for our admiration. Earlier in the relationship, we provided that admiration. Our man soaked in it, loved it, and kept coming back for more. Other women never caught their attention. Our man seemed interested in us, they worked at keeping us happy. Over time, their interested waned. And admired them less and less. It became a never-ending cycle until they became interested in someone else. And here we are, wondering what has changed.
Worrying about the reason why men leave is counterproductive and gets us nowhere. To make progress, we would be wise to understand the basics of the male ego so we can cater to it. By doing so, we can worry less about them losing interest in us, about them finding someone else. Unfortunately, this level of understanding takes a bit of work on our part, but once we peel away all of those layers and have a true understanding of their needs and the type of admiration they need, we can deliver precisely what they want. As a benefit to us, we will see this attention channeled back from them. We will feel appreciated more, loved more, and so on. Everyone is happy. Like our teachers always said, "treat others as you want others to treat you." It goes a long way. - 15784
About the Author:
Samantha (Sam) Fulcher is the Relationship Advisor for The Match Maker Review. Join her Members Only Lounge for $14.75 per month. If you are looking for help getting back your ex, visit Help Get My Ex Back.