Saving a relationship can be one of the most difficult things you will ever do. The reason for this is that the end of a relationship results in highly charged emotions. When this happens, we are often vulnerable to saying or doing something we may later regret and, in turn, push the love of our live even farther away. In turn, we run the risk of losing them forevever.
While caught up in the moment of emotions, we often do things that might feel right emotion, but are wrong tactically. The most relevant example right now is the stock market. While everyone is selling right now, we should really be buying, but because our emotions overrule our logic, we end up selling low like everyone else and experiencing a loss. In much the same way, phoning our ex and telling him or her how much we miss them and still love them might feel right emotionally, but it is the wrong thing to do tactically. Truth is, when it comes to saving a relationship, we need to take a counterintuitive approach.
I have written before about accepting the break up decision. It's one of the first steps in saving a relationship. You need to let your ex know that you understand the decision and appreciate him or her making that difficult decision. Let them know that you appreciate your freedom, and do this with as positive an attitude as possible. While doing this will be extremely difficult, it is an essential step.
Another counterintuitive step is cutting off all communication. Of course, this has to happen after you accept the break up, so we can call this a second step. The reason for this is twofold. Firstly, it allows the ex time to wonder why you might have agreed to the break-up in the first place... and with such a positive attitude about the whole thing, too! It's good to leave an image of a happy, freed single with your ex... you were likely happy and free when you met, so this image will bring back many memories.
The second result is that your ex will no longer have to justify why the break-up happened as he or she will be too preoccupied with why you are so happy about your freedom. This time alone not only allows your ex to miss you, but it provides a distraction. This is one of the greatest keys to saving a relationship because your ex will no longer be focused on the negative (what led your ex to break up in the first place) but will be remembering all of the positive aspects of your relationship. And since communication has been cut off, your ex may start to panic and wonder why the break up ever happened.
These counterintuitive steps should give you a basic foundation for saving a relationship. Understandably, they are difficult to put into action and will require faith in just how solid your relationship was in the first place. But one thing you should remember is that most people hate change. They would prefer a mediocre relationship than running the risk of starting a new one with someone they probably haven't found yet. - 15784
While caught up in the moment of emotions, we often do things that might feel right emotion, but are wrong tactically. The most relevant example right now is the stock market. While everyone is selling right now, we should really be buying, but because our emotions overrule our logic, we end up selling low like everyone else and experiencing a loss. In much the same way, phoning our ex and telling him or her how much we miss them and still love them might feel right emotionally, but it is the wrong thing to do tactically. Truth is, when it comes to saving a relationship, we need to take a counterintuitive approach.
I have written before about accepting the break up decision. It's one of the first steps in saving a relationship. You need to let your ex know that you understand the decision and appreciate him or her making that difficult decision. Let them know that you appreciate your freedom, and do this with as positive an attitude as possible. While doing this will be extremely difficult, it is an essential step.
Another counterintuitive step is cutting off all communication. Of course, this has to happen after you accept the break up, so we can call this a second step. The reason for this is twofold. Firstly, it allows the ex time to wonder why you might have agreed to the break-up in the first place... and with such a positive attitude about the whole thing, too! It's good to leave an image of a happy, freed single with your ex... you were likely happy and free when you met, so this image will bring back many memories.
The second result is that your ex will no longer have to justify why the break-up happened as he or she will be too preoccupied with why you are so happy about your freedom. This time alone not only allows your ex to miss you, but it provides a distraction. This is one of the greatest keys to saving a relationship because your ex will no longer be focused on the negative (what led your ex to break up in the first place) but will be remembering all of the positive aspects of your relationship. And since communication has been cut off, your ex may start to panic and wonder why the break up ever happened.
These counterintuitive steps should give you a basic foundation for saving a relationship. Understandably, they are difficult to put into action and will require faith in just how solid your relationship was in the first place. But one thing you should remember is that most people hate change. They would prefer a mediocre relationship than running the risk of starting a new one with someone they probably haven't found yet. - 15784
About the Author:
Samantha Fulcher is the Relationship Advisor at The Match Maker Review. For help getting your ex back, visit Help Get My Ex Back.