Monday, November 10, 2008

Reducing the Effects of Divorce on Your Kids

By Carol Cavanaugh

Presently, about half (40-50%) of the first time marriages end up breaking up, leaving children in the middle of it all. Children should receive the utmost emotional and psychological care both parents can give, not just one parent.

Many parents observe that the kids are far more aware of the problems within the marriage that we may think they are. Overheard arguments, lack of coordination between mom and dad are easy for a child to understand. Young children very easily feel the lack of affection between parents or absence of one of the parents. Parents should talk to children and let them know that they can ask any questions, before proceeding with the divorce.

It is up to both parents to treat children with never ending love even after the divorce has taken place. Many children tend to blame themselves for the divorce of their parents, criticizing and taking it personally. Doing so will truly damage children, especially emotionally as they continue to grow. If the children are subjected to the usual warm affections, such as a few additional kisses and hugs as well as a walk in the park, they will feel a lot better about themselves.

Children take the example of their parents. So both the parents should behave with dignity and show real concern to set example for their children. After effects of excessive drinking or casual affairs if seen by children of divorce may force the child to think about things that they are not mature enough to understand.

Both parents and children have a connection that cannot afford to be severed. Parents must be careful what they say, for it will either hurt the child/parent relationship or bring about faith and confidence. Talking badly about one another can cause trust issues with children.

Both parents should keep observing how the child react to their day to day activities. Also they should keep watch of the kids activities in school as in the crisis time at home the child may be experiencing difficulties with home work and learning. So it is the responsibility of both parents to give a helping hand to the child to overcome his difficulties in school activities. Also parents should attend any extra curricular activities in the school to show your affection.

If the parents try to work together to help children cope with the separation, huge benefits are involved. Children will feel secure and confident about the mom and dad situation, and they will not feel badly about themselves to such a great degree. - 15784

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