Facing divorce and stymied about how tell your kids? Wondering how it will affect them? Worried about hurting them with the news? When's the best time to talk? What to say and not say? What will they say? Not sure just what to confide?
Talking about divorce to your children is tough. You don't want to make mistakes you will regret.
Professionals all agree on some of the most common mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or separation. These include:
Asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides. Children love both parents naturally and feel guilty when being asked to make choices. Make those choices for them.
Failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault. Your children are innocent but they dont always realize it. Its your place to tell them this again and again in the months to come.
Sharing information only adults should be aware of. Parents often do this to bond with their children or try to win them over. It creates a burden that children shouldn't have to bare. Talk to adults about adult issues.
The good news is there is lots of help available to you from qualified professionals. For a peaceful divorce, try mediation or an attorney specializing in the Collaborative Divorce model. Family therapists are always an excellent resource. You can also reach out to clergy, guidance counselors in the schools or professional coaches who handle divorce and family issues. In addition, many outstanding books and articles provide expertise on this subject.
Whatever you do, prepare yourself in advance when talking to your children. Be aware of the impact of your words on their innocent psyches. Avoid the mistakes we have discussed. Think before you leap and give your family a sound foundation on which to face the changes ahead with security, compassion and love. - 15784
Talking about divorce to your children is tough. You don't want to make mistakes you will regret.
Professionals all agree on some of the most common mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or separation. These include:
Asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or choosing sides. Children love both parents naturally and feel guilty when being asked to make choices. Make those choices for them.
Failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their fault. Your children are innocent but they dont always realize it. Its your place to tell them this again and again in the months to come.
Sharing information only adults should be aware of. Parents often do this to bond with their children or try to win them over. It creates a burden that children shouldn't have to bare. Talk to adults about adult issues.
The good news is there is lots of help available to you from qualified professionals. For a peaceful divorce, try mediation or an attorney specializing in the Collaborative Divorce model. Family therapists are always an excellent resource. You can also reach out to clergy, guidance counselors in the schools or professional coaches who handle divorce and family issues. In addition, many outstanding books and articles provide expertise on this subject.
Whatever you do, prepare yourself in advance when talking to your children. Be aware of the impact of your words on their innocent psyches. Avoid the mistakes we have discussed. Think before you leap and give your family a sound foundation on which to face the changes ahead with security, compassion and love. - 15784
About the Author:
Rosalind Sedacca Certified Corporate Trainer and relationship facilitator, is the creator of the new ebook which is a great tool for Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce. For free articles, free ezine and other valuable resources for parents, visit: www.childcentereddivorce.com When it comes to Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce get some sound professional advice.