Does your to-do list look something like this: Walk dog the dog. Water the plants. Break up with my significant other.
Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybodys daily calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the expire by date just because breaking up is hard to do.
Sometimes break ups occur simply because the relationship has petered out to the point neither one even cares. Sometimes they end in dramatic fashion with some great flash of anger and clothing being thrown out of a second story window. Neither is dignified nor civil. If you want to end the relationship, do it with honesty and dignity. Take steps so that neither party is hurt badly.
You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. You must determine what the real reason is. The next step in ending a relationship is to be honest. In your discussion with your partner you just be true to yourself and to them.
Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. It is better to do it in person than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner rather than waiting for a time you can get together. Never break up in an E-mail or text message.
Be empathetic. This is a difficult conversation for both parties. If you want to remain friends, fine, but it has to be with the proviso all romantic ties are over. Don't put your partner on defense; be compassionate. Tell them you have learned much and will cherish memories you share. You need to "be there" during this talk because you want to compassionately respond to them if they become very emotional.
Remember your partner may respond emotionally and say things that are hurtful. Do not take them seriously. Let them roll off of your back. In emotional times things are said that are not meant. Be kind and don't respond emotionally. Your ex may need to see you again in order to conclude the relationship. Or they might need space. Give them whatever the need. Give your ex this dignity.
Making you feel guilty may become the aim of your ex, but avoid this feeling. You are about to start a new chapter in your life and it no longer includes a romantic relationship with your ex. It is good to maintain a positive relationship of some sort, but if you ended the relationship for honest reasons, it is in both your best interests.
Will you ever get back together. Only the two of you can decide. Most relationships can be saved but both parties have to work at it, and conditions must be met. If you are both willing to do the work necessary to repair the relationship, you will become a stronger couple. But if the break up is final, honesty, civility and dignity require that you both walk away and move on. - 15784
Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybodys daily calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the expire by date just because breaking up is hard to do.
Sometimes break ups occur simply because the relationship has petered out to the point neither one even cares. Sometimes they end in dramatic fashion with some great flash of anger and clothing being thrown out of a second story window. Neither is dignified nor civil. If you want to end the relationship, do it with honesty and dignity. Take steps so that neither party is hurt badly.
You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. You must determine what the real reason is. The next step in ending a relationship is to be honest. In your discussion with your partner you just be true to yourself and to them.
Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. It is better to do it in person than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner rather than waiting for a time you can get together. Never break up in an E-mail or text message.
Be empathetic. This is a difficult conversation for both parties. If you want to remain friends, fine, but it has to be with the proviso all romantic ties are over. Don't put your partner on defense; be compassionate. Tell them you have learned much and will cherish memories you share. You need to "be there" during this talk because you want to compassionately respond to them if they become very emotional.
Remember your partner may respond emotionally and say things that are hurtful. Do not take them seriously. Let them roll off of your back. In emotional times things are said that are not meant. Be kind and don't respond emotionally. Your ex may need to see you again in order to conclude the relationship. Or they might need space. Give them whatever the need. Give your ex this dignity.
Making you feel guilty may become the aim of your ex, but avoid this feeling. You are about to start a new chapter in your life and it no longer includes a romantic relationship with your ex. It is good to maintain a positive relationship of some sort, but if you ended the relationship for honest reasons, it is in both your best interests.
Will you ever get back together. Only the two of you can decide. Most relationships can be saved but both parties have to work at it, and conditions must be met. If you are both willing to do the work necessary to repair the relationship, you will become a stronger couple. But if the break up is final, honesty, civility and dignity require that you both walk away and move on. - 15784
About the Author:
Mr. MacGynnwrites articles for About the Family, a blog centered on family matters. Most broken relationships can be repaired if the subconscious motivators that unite couples are understood. Sadly, most individuals taking steps to repair the relationship instinctively do exactly the wrong things at the wrong time. Learn how you can avoid these wrong steps and you can Repair the Relationship