Once you start traveling down the marriage highway, it is easy to forget that one great way to keep the love alive is to spend "just you two" time. Especially after you started adding kids in the mix. We have being using Friday Night Date Night as just the way to have that time. We initially found that finding the time, money, and babysitter made the ideas of date seem like too much trouble very often. Then we some how, heard about it I think, came up with a way that made all the obstacles disappear. And I believe that our relationship reflects the benefit of that night out.
See we have 5 children, ages 15 to 9. And we also have good friends in the same place - 5 kids fairly close to our kids ages. This is the important piece to making this work.
The Working Model
Here is the basics: every week on Friday, either us or our friends has a night out. We alternate weeks and I tell you, seldom do we miss it. The couple who is going out takes their children over to the house of the other couple around 5:30, for example Kathlyn (our friend) brings them over to our house. Julie then feeds all the kids (nuggets are a main staple) and then the kids all hang out until around 9. At that time, Julie takes Kat's kids back to their house and snuggles those cuties into bed. She then stays there until Kat & Jeff return home. And what's great is there no time limit. I'd take care of my kids back home. The next week, our turn.
What's the big deal?
This might seem really simple, but there is genius and beauty in the whole plan. Sometimes the best things are simple, right? Here are the reasons it works so well:
* A consistent, responsible babysitter who is never late nor seldom backs out. You gotta remember the babysitter has a date already on the books for next week that depends on yours going off without a hitch.
* Doesn't cost a thing! Remember the 5 kids - a night out can cost a small king's ransom.
* Most babysitters come in teenager sizes. And for a 13 or 14 year old to manage 5 kids is asking a whole lot. The cool thing about combining the families is that they tend to babysit themselves as they play together. And it really is not all that difficult. Plus as parents with 5 kids, we have the expertise to handle the group.
* Your babysitter doesn't grow up and stop babysitting. Nothing worse than training a babysitter, only to have her get a boyfriend, or a life, and decide she's out of the business.
* No "why can't I play Wii" or "Bobby hit me" phone calls just as you are gazing longingly into your spouse's beautiful eyes. Boy can that be a downer on a date.
* You don't have to take the babysitter home, or worse yet go get the kids at midnight, bring them home and put them to bed. Don't I love looking forward to that when I'm having that romantic dinner with Julie!
* The house is always clean when we get here, since the kids weren't here all night. So no getting up on Saturday to throw away pizza boxes and pop cans.
* Here's a perk for the other mom - once Kat puts the kids to bed, she gets a little alone time - the chance to brew a big cup of tea and read a book or watch her favorite show.
What happens as the kids get older?
Julie and I are not willing to go into the older siblings babysitting arena on our "coveted" date night. Once you tasted the good life of uninterrupted, clean house, worry free date night, you can never go back. Not until you are packing the last U-haul to college.
So what's stopping you? Ask those friends that as are harried as you are and long to wear grown up clothes and have grown up conversations. If you can't ask, just shove this article in their hand and look at them pleadingly. - 15784
See we have 5 children, ages 15 to 9. And we also have good friends in the same place - 5 kids fairly close to our kids ages. This is the important piece to making this work.
The Working Model
Here is the basics: every week on Friday, either us or our friends has a night out. We alternate weeks and I tell you, seldom do we miss it. The couple who is going out takes their children over to the house of the other couple around 5:30, for example Kathlyn (our friend) brings them over to our house. Julie then feeds all the kids (nuggets are a main staple) and then the kids all hang out until around 9. At that time, Julie takes Kat's kids back to their house and snuggles those cuties into bed. She then stays there until Kat & Jeff return home. And what's great is there no time limit. I'd take care of my kids back home. The next week, our turn.
What's the big deal?
This might seem really simple, but there is genius and beauty in the whole plan. Sometimes the best things are simple, right? Here are the reasons it works so well:
* A consistent, responsible babysitter who is never late nor seldom backs out. You gotta remember the babysitter has a date already on the books for next week that depends on yours going off without a hitch.
* Doesn't cost a thing! Remember the 5 kids - a night out can cost a small king's ransom.
* Most babysitters come in teenager sizes. And for a 13 or 14 year old to manage 5 kids is asking a whole lot. The cool thing about combining the families is that they tend to babysit themselves as they play together. And it really is not all that difficult. Plus as parents with 5 kids, we have the expertise to handle the group.
* Your babysitter doesn't grow up and stop babysitting. Nothing worse than training a babysitter, only to have her get a boyfriend, or a life, and decide she's out of the business.
* No "why can't I play Wii" or "Bobby hit me" phone calls just as you are gazing longingly into your spouse's beautiful eyes. Boy can that be a downer on a date.
* You don't have to take the babysitter home, or worse yet go get the kids at midnight, bring them home and put them to bed. Don't I love looking forward to that when I'm having that romantic dinner with Julie!
* The house is always clean when we get here, since the kids weren't here all night. So no getting up on Saturday to throw away pizza boxes and pop cans.
* Here's a perk for the other mom - once Kat puts the kids to bed, she gets a little alone time - the chance to brew a big cup of tea and read a book or watch her favorite show.
What happens as the kids get older?
Julie and I are not willing to go into the older siblings babysitting arena on our "coveted" date night. Once you tasted the good life of uninterrupted, clean house, worry free date night, you can never go back. Not until you are packing the last U-haul to college.
So what's stopping you? Ask those friends that as are harried as you are and long to wear grown up clothes and have grown up conversations. If you can't ask, just shove this article in their hand and look at them pleadingly. - 15784
About the Author:
Matt and Julie Hellstrom are a happily married couple with 5 lovely, infuriating kids, and they've gained much practical experience during their marriage. Learn about their tribulations and joys at their Marriage Blog. Friday Night Date Night is just one of the many techniques you'll learn at our How to Fix My Marriage site - http://howtofixmymarriage.com.