Sunday, February 15, 2009

Online Dating - Who Exactly Are You Searching For?

By Jayde Johannsen

Have you noticed that different dating sites have different fee structures? For example, I've come across many dating sites that charge a monthly recurring fee to their members. For these websites to be successful, they depend on their members continuing their memberships for months and months on end. This then depends on their members being active on the dating scene for months on end. Without judging this, I believe it begs the question, why are you dating?

When dating, are you trying to find someone special? A soul mate if you will? If so, it entails meeting people, then spending time getting to know them properly. If you had a monthly subscription at a dating site, you'd be throwing away your money while you were getting to know the people you recently met. Surely you'd be much better served by joining a site which sells credits you can use to contact people.

That way you would only spend your money when you needed to meet new people. You'd then have the luxury of getting to know them at your own pace without paying an extra cent. If you meet someone wonderful and it all works out, great. If down the track you realise the person you were dating was not for you, you can revisit the dating site months or even years later and use or buy your credits to meet new people. The point is though that you don't need to spend monthly fees in the meantime.

That being said, you may not be looking for anyone specific at the moment. You may just be looking for lots of new people instead, on a light, friendly basis. There are many reasons why this may be the case. For example you may have just finished an intense relationship and not be ready for another. Or you may be a traveller who has stopped off somewhere for an extended, but finite stay. Both of these examples are cases where you may want to meet lots of new friends, but not develop anything too deep. In these cases, the monthly subscription type of site would be perfect for you, as typically you can contact an unlimited number of people with these services.

Regardless of what you are looking for, the point is to think about it. Make sure you do. If you are a "someone special" type of person, do not join the subscription service, it will end up costing you more than you need to pay. The same goes if you are looking for a "party of friends". In this case, subscribe. It will save you stacks.

I have found that most subscription based membership sites are of the adult nature. I don't believe this should hold you back though if you are looking to meet lots and lots of people. There are plenty of people on adult sites who are not fully into the promiscuous side of it. You just need to be clear about where your boundaries are and how fast you like to progress things.

As a final point, its interesting that the people who have the least success in dating are typically those who run headlong into something and end up in a place surrounded by inappropriate people. So before you spend any money on dating, think and work out who you want to meet. Only at this point will you be able to join the appropriate dating site. - 15784

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