Divorce seems to be commonplace today with about half of all marriages ending in divorce. It is even estimated that nearly a third of the country's kids come from divorced parents. The statistics for second and third marriages are even worse. It seems we all start off thinking that unions, especially our own, will last forever and take our "till death do us part" vows seriously. But in order for those vows to stick you have to do more than just say the words; you have to work together to keep your marriage promises.
We've all heard that marriage takes work, but how many of us actually do that work? It's easy to think of the rare examples of marriages that are strong and effortless and believe that ours will be one of those. But what if it isn't? It's easy to jump into marriage hoping for the best without making a real commitment to work on the relationship.
Recognizing the problem is key to preventing divorce. If you are unhappy but cannot say why, how can you expect to become happy again? Who is to say that divorce will solve your problem? Put a name to your grievances. Perhaps you feel distance between your spouse and yourself; you don't communicate like you used to or busy schedules leave little time for romance. Maybe you feel unwanted, ignored or taken for granted and this is the cause of your misery. Whatever the reason, determining the root of unhappiness is the first step to divorce prevention.
It can be hard to do, but talking to your spouse about how you feel is essential in in order to resolve the problems effectively. If you can't figure out how to open the channels of communication with your spouse, professional services can help. Counseling usually works best when both partners are present, but if your spouse is resistant to going or you feel more comfortable going by yourself, a professional can still help you learn how to express yourself better to your spouse.
Another option at this stage is books. There are many books available on the subject of effective communication, and many of these focus on marriages specifically. They can be very effective for helping people learn to acknowledge the problems that are there, which is the first step to effective communication. Sometimes the biggest communication problem is not being able to admit to yourself what the problem is, or not being able to articulate what seems like vague feelings of unhappiness.
Once you and your partner have identified the problems, you can come up with an effective plan for solving them. It's easy to come up with a plan, but coming up with an effective plan requires open and honest communication between the partners. Both partners need to understand what their own needs are and what their partner's needs are to make sure that they aren't trying to solve the wrong problem.
The process may take a lot longer than you expect, especially when old habits are involved. Old fears and insecurities often pop up when we try to make positive changes in our lives. Professional help can be valuable in helping us to learn how to deal wit them effectively. New skills will have to be developed, but a strong, healthy marriage is worth the effort. - 15784
We've all heard that marriage takes work, but how many of us actually do that work? It's easy to think of the rare examples of marriages that are strong and effortless and believe that ours will be one of those. But what if it isn't? It's easy to jump into marriage hoping for the best without making a real commitment to work on the relationship.
Recognizing the problem is key to preventing divorce. If you are unhappy but cannot say why, how can you expect to become happy again? Who is to say that divorce will solve your problem? Put a name to your grievances. Perhaps you feel distance between your spouse and yourself; you don't communicate like you used to or busy schedules leave little time for romance. Maybe you feel unwanted, ignored or taken for granted and this is the cause of your misery. Whatever the reason, determining the root of unhappiness is the first step to divorce prevention.
It can be hard to do, but talking to your spouse about how you feel is essential in in order to resolve the problems effectively. If you can't figure out how to open the channels of communication with your spouse, professional services can help. Counseling usually works best when both partners are present, but if your spouse is resistant to going or you feel more comfortable going by yourself, a professional can still help you learn how to express yourself better to your spouse.
Another option at this stage is books. There are many books available on the subject of effective communication, and many of these focus on marriages specifically. They can be very effective for helping people learn to acknowledge the problems that are there, which is the first step to effective communication. Sometimes the biggest communication problem is not being able to admit to yourself what the problem is, or not being able to articulate what seems like vague feelings of unhappiness.
Once you and your partner have identified the problems, you can come up with an effective plan for solving them. It's easy to come up with a plan, but coming up with an effective plan requires open and honest communication between the partners. Both partners need to understand what their own needs are and what their partner's needs are to make sure that they aren't trying to solve the wrong problem.
The process may take a lot longer than you expect, especially when old habits are involved. Old fears and insecurities often pop up when we try to make positive changes in our lives. Professional help can be valuable in helping us to learn how to deal wit them effectively. New skills will have to be developed, but a strong, healthy marriage is worth the effort. - 15784
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