Extramarital affair is something that anyone can fall into without even realising a thing. Before we begin, I assume no one would choose to be involved in an affair by intention - unless if the person has no morals or conscience.
The same pattern is always followed, those signs that you don't pay much attention to - to make you aware that you are about to be caught in a rip dangerous to your heart. Of course, it is too easy to overlook these signs and hence many people won't realise it until after they're stuck;
And when it's realised, it has become too hard to get out - it can't be done without somebody getting hurt. So how would you know if you are slipping into an extramarital affair? Read on to find out.
The first stage of an affair is a friendly one. Someone become friends with someone else other than their spouse because of similar interests or hobby. This can happen anywhere including the workplace or social groups you belong to. At this stage attraction may or may not yet exist and therefore is probably still harmless.
The friendship formed will then become closer - the very beginning of emotional affair is here. More stories are being swapped between you and your friend - including the more intimate stories about your current relationship with your spouse.
Ok stop here for a second and let me stress at this stage, you don't know this close friend as much as you know your spouse. I can guarantee that you haven't seen most of this friend's bad habits and behaviour. You practically know this person based mostly on his/her words rather than action.
He or she may give you personal opinions offering resolutions to your problems - mind you these resolution sounds good to your ear.
Before you know it, you start comparing your spouse with your friend - and this is starting to get dangerous. You may already be emotionally involved with your friend to some degree - but of course you still have your conscience and extramarital affair may still be out of the picture.
The last stage of this 'dangerous zone' is when you start sharing deep emotional heart-to-heart stuff. This definitely leads to a deeper emotional affair where you start feeling understood, feeling close to the other person. You will feel loved and starting from there, you may start wondering what it would be like to have a spouse just like this friend of yours.
At this time very little conscience and logic are being held in place as fantasies start entering your mind. You start idolising this person as a 'soulmate' - who you might have met late in the game. This thought, together with the emotional rush an affair can offer will soon have you in the official extramarital affair zone.
Before long you may find yourself in a situation - or you create the situation that makes it so easy for somebody to cross the physical line with a kiss or any other sexual touch. You may even end up in bed with this person - and worse of all, it is not just a one-night-stand as high emotional intimacy is involved.
It's impossible to get out!
No, you can! Now I can tell you that extramarital affairs do NOT just naturally happen without any signs. You can choose to see them, or choose to overlook those signs - by trying to convince yourself that nothing is going on between you and your friend. You have control from the start and knowing these signs will arm you with logic to stop you from getting too deep into the affair.
Remember though, no matter how much you are armed everyone is vulnerable of falling into this emotional rut. Do not overestimate yourself as even you - yes YOU - are just as vulnerable to this as anyone else. Do not think that 'it will never happen between us' as you don't know what your emotions are capable of.
Be aware of boundaries and pay close attention to these signs - don't let it override your emotions. - 15784
The same pattern is always followed, those signs that you don't pay much attention to - to make you aware that you are about to be caught in a rip dangerous to your heart. Of course, it is too easy to overlook these signs and hence many people won't realise it until after they're stuck;
And when it's realised, it has become too hard to get out - it can't be done without somebody getting hurt. So how would you know if you are slipping into an extramarital affair? Read on to find out.
The first stage of an affair is a friendly one. Someone become friends with someone else other than their spouse because of similar interests or hobby. This can happen anywhere including the workplace or social groups you belong to. At this stage attraction may or may not yet exist and therefore is probably still harmless.
The friendship formed will then become closer - the very beginning of emotional affair is here. More stories are being swapped between you and your friend - including the more intimate stories about your current relationship with your spouse.
Ok stop here for a second and let me stress at this stage, you don't know this close friend as much as you know your spouse. I can guarantee that you haven't seen most of this friend's bad habits and behaviour. You practically know this person based mostly on his/her words rather than action.
He or she may give you personal opinions offering resolutions to your problems - mind you these resolution sounds good to your ear.
Before you know it, you start comparing your spouse with your friend - and this is starting to get dangerous. You may already be emotionally involved with your friend to some degree - but of course you still have your conscience and extramarital affair may still be out of the picture.
The last stage of this 'dangerous zone' is when you start sharing deep emotional heart-to-heart stuff. This definitely leads to a deeper emotional affair where you start feeling understood, feeling close to the other person. You will feel loved and starting from there, you may start wondering what it would be like to have a spouse just like this friend of yours.
At this time very little conscience and logic are being held in place as fantasies start entering your mind. You start idolising this person as a 'soulmate' - who you might have met late in the game. This thought, together with the emotional rush an affair can offer will soon have you in the official extramarital affair zone.
Before long you may find yourself in a situation - or you create the situation that makes it so easy for somebody to cross the physical line with a kiss or any other sexual touch. You may even end up in bed with this person - and worse of all, it is not just a one-night-stand as high emotional intimacy is involved.
It's impossible to get out!
No, you can! Now I can tell you that extramarital affairs do NOT just naturally happen without any signs. You can choose to see them, or choose to overlook those signs - by trying to convince yourself that nothing is going on between you and your friend. You have control from the start and knowing these signs will arm you with logic to stop you from getting too deep into the affair.
Remember though, no matter how much you are armed everyone is vulnerable of falling into this emotional rut. Do not overestimate yourself as even you - yes YOU - are just as vulnerable to this as anyone else. Do not think that 'it will never happen between us' as you don't know what your emotions are capable of.
Be aware of boundaries and pay close attention to these signs - don't let it override your emotions. - 15784
About the Author:
Sally Webb is the Founder of Cheating-Spouse-Alert.com. Visit her site for more advice about of infidelity and affairs from signs of cheating spouse to steps of finding out. Furthermore, check out the article: Extramarital Affair: should I confess to my spouse.