One of my friends has found herself in a sticky situation: she's dating two men whom she met at the same time. One fits the stereotype of a true romantic, one who can provide her with a secure and loving relationship. The second is a divorced man whom my friend is falling in love with. He's happy, down to earth and easygoing.
There is one problem with this scenario, though. The second man (Alan) still sees and supports his ex-wife, who has since married another man. My friend, Malen, told me that she would have picked Alan instead of Melvin, the second man, if Alan stopped seeing and supporting his ex-wife. Malen believes that there is no reason for them to see each other anymore after their divorce.
Their relationship is on and off as Malen would demand her part but Alan also demanded his part to be understood and accepted by Malen. But neither both wanted to really give up on each other. When any of them tried to stop dating, the other one would complain not to stop and so it goes on a cycle.
When things are bad between Alan and Malen, she will tell me that she should just marry Melvin, which frustrates me because I believe she should follow her heart and accept Alan and love him unconditionally.
I just feel that to put demands on someone, especially at the start of a relationship, is pretty selfish. I think if Malen accepts the fact that Alan still has a relationship with his ex-wife, things will work out. She should realize that things will change since Alan is willing to work at it. They both just need time and eventually Alan will give Malen all the love she wants.
If only Malen can understand this and accept it, things should be better for both of them but she is very stubborn in her beliefs that Alan can only prove his love to her if he follws her demands. Now they just waste time on absurd disagreements when they know that they really like each other.
Many people are in the same situation as Malen and Alan. The key to real love is understanding and once you understand all things, is there a question left? So for Malen, if she understand the time requirement for Alan, they will now be enjoying more moments together and not destroying it. It is also true to other situations. If understanding is the center of any relationship, then all things will be clearer and you can expect growth towards any union on this earth. - 15784
There is one problem with this scenario, though. The second man (Alan) still sees and supports his ex-wife, who has since married another man. My friend, Malen, told me that she would have picked Alan instead of Melvin, the second man, if Alan stopped seeing and supporting his ex-wife. Malen believes that there is no reason for them to see each other anymore after their divorce.
Their relationship is on and off as Malen would demand her part but Alan also demanded his part to be understood and accepted by Malen. But neither both wanted to really give up on each other. When any of them tried to stop dating, the other one would complain not to stop and so it goes on a cycle.
When things are bad between Alan and Malen, she will tell me that she should just marry Melvin, which frustrates me because I believe she should follow her heart and accept Alan and love him unconditionally.
I just feel that to put demands on someone, especially at the start of a relationship, is pretty selfish. I think if Malen accepts the fact that Alan still has a relationship with his ex-wife, things will work out. She should realize that things will change since Alan is willing to work at it. They both just need time and eventually Alan will give Malen all the love she wants.
If only Malen can understand this and accept it, things should be better for both of them but she is very stubborn in her beliefs that Alan can only prove his love to her if he follws her demands. Now they just waste time on absurd disagreements when they know that they really like each other.
Many people are in the same situation as Malen and Alan. The key to real love is understanding and once you understand all things, is there a question left? So for Malen, if she understand the time requirement for Alan, they will now be enjoying more moments together and not destroying it. It is also true to other situations. If understanding is the center of any relationship, then all things will be clearer and you can expect growth towards any union on this earth. - 15784
About the Author:
Discover why AustinDivorceHelp.com is the premier website for couples looking for a Austin family law attorney. If you need more information, check out the extensive list of Austin divorce frequently asked questions on the site any time.