You've broken up with your ex. A little time has passed and now you want to get your ex back. What relationship advice can help?
During your break up, feelings of anger or hatred or sadness replaced feelings of love and closeness, right? You started feeling angry or betrayed instead of loving and intimate. That's why you fought and had a break up. This happens every day all over the world.
However, after a few days or weeks of being broken up you calmed down. You started to miss your ex. Your angry or hurt feelings are getting replaced by other feelings. Notice this truth about emotions: intense feelings like anger change, they usually soften over time!
You understand this from your own life experiences. You've been mad at somebody at work and after a day or two the anger diminishes. You've been sad about something that happened to you and again, after just a day or two, it goes away. This is important Emotional Logic to notice. Feelings shift and are in flux for all of us.
You know this first hand. While you were breaking up with your ex, you were angry or very hurt and sad. Now, those feelings are being replaced, shifting back to desire and longing for the closeness and connection you had with your mate. Now you want to give it another go. Your feelings have shifted. It seems obvious, but the point is important: feeling change.
But while feelings change, some emotions can get stuck. The can last a lot longer, can't they? If, for example, you cheated on your ex, this can bring up feelings of betrayal and shame. These are very difficult emotions to process, and you ex may still be very stuck with them. They aren't shifting or changing very much at all!
So how can you use Emotional Logic to get back with your ex? How can you use emotional intelligence to heal something like cheating on your mate? One way is to help them to get those bad feelings off their chest. Help them to vent. Let them get it out. So, if possible, when you talk to them, ask them how they are feeling about what happened or what you did or whatever. Then do your best to shut up and let them talk. Give them the time they need to begin to spill their feelings of anger or hurt out.
Dont argue. Dont defend yourself. That just creates more argument. Instead, make them feel heard and understood. Ten minutes of venting can really help their negative feelings get released. Letting your ex vent all over you a time or two after a break up can help them to let go of anger and move back towards more kindly feelings towards you.
There is more to this process, but supporting your ex in "spilling" and releasing their negative feelings can be a vital part in getting them to take you back into their life. Feelings change, and you want to help their negative feelings change as fast as you can! - 15784
During your break up, feelings of anger or hatred or sadness replaced feelings of love and closeness, right? You started feeling angry or betrayed instead of loving and intimate. That's why you fought and had a break up. This happens every day all over the world.
However, after a few days or weeks of being broken up you calmed down. You started to miss your ex. Your angry or hurt feelings are getting replaced by other feelings. Notice this truth about emotions: intense feelings like anger change, they usually soften over time!
You understand this from your own life experiences. You've been mad at somebody at work and after a day or two the anger diminishes. You've been sad about something that happened to you and again, after just a day or two, it goes away. This is important Emotional Logic to notice. Feelings shift and are in flux for all of us.
You know this first hand. While you were breaking up with your ex, you were angry or very hurt and sad. Now, those feelings are being replaced, shifting back to desire and longing for the closeness and connection you had with your mate. Now you want to give it another go. Your feelings have shifted. It seems obvious, but the point is important: feeling change.
But while feelings change, some emotions can get stuck. The can last a lot longer, can't they? If, for example, you cheated on your ex, this can bring up feelings of betrayal and shame. These are very difficult emotions to process, and you ex may still be very stuck with them. They aren't shifting or changing very much at all!
So how can you use Emotional Logic to get back with your ex? How can you use emotional intelligence to heal something like cheating on your mate? One way is to help them to get those bad feelings off their chest. Help them to vent. Let them get it out. So, if possible, when you talk to them, ask them how they are feeling about what happened or what you did or whatever. Then do your best to shut up and let them talk. Give them the time they need to begin to spill their feelings of anger or hurt out.
Dont argue. Dont defend yourself. That just creates more argument. Instead, make them feel heard and understood. Ten minutes of venting can really help their negative feelings get released. Letting your ex vent all over you a time or two after a break up can help them to let go of anger and move back towards more kindly feelings towards you.
There is more to this process, but supporting your ex in "spilling" and releasing their negative feelings can be a vital part in getting them to take you back into their life. Feelings change, and you want to help their negative feelings change as fast as you can! - 15784
About the Author:
You can discover powerful proven ways to get your ex back in a book about Get Over A Break Up The Best Way. John Laney teaches relationship skills and you can get a free course here on Free Relationship Advice Vital Tips.