Sunday, March 1, 2009

Worried About Your Marriage? Five Warning Signs to Watch For

By Dena Tilson

An unfortunate but true reality is that many people are completely blindsided when their spouse asks them for a divorce. Even though they knew their marriage had its ups and downs, they never even considered that their spouse was considering bringing the marriage to an end. Here are five signs that signal that you should take a long, hard look at your marriage.

1. Having the same argument time and time again. Do the same issues keep cropping up only to prompt yet another heated argument? Maybe one or both of you storm off in anger instead of staying to work on the problem. Issues that are left unresolved are like ticking time bombs, you are never sure when they might explode.

2. Avoiding conversation. Do you turn on the television or the computer or open up a book as a way to avoid having to talk to your spouse? Avoiding talking to your spouse about the problems won't make them disappear. Lack of communication is a major marriage problem.

3. Lack of physical closeness. Do either of you avoid physical intimacy? All humans have a desire for close, personal touching. Physical intimacy is one of the major things that sets apart a marriage from any other relationship. Without that close, physical intimacy, you might as well be sharing space with a sister or brother.

4. Always criticizing each other. Your spouse isn't perfect, much in the same way that you are not perfect either. Constant criticism is disrespectful and demeaning to your spouse. Most people are already aware of their personal shortcomings and do not need someone else constantly pointing them out. When you are overly critical, it can also cause your spouse to start tuning you out whenever you speak.

5. Your marriage is on the bottom of your priority list. Do you remember in the beginning of your relationship, how you wanted to spend every minute together? That is normal behavior and soon most couples settle into a more balanced lifestyle with the relationship still having a high priority. The problem occurs when everything else becomes more important than your spouse and marriage.

If some of these problems resonate with your experience, it is time to start to work on turning the marriage around. Marriage problems do not just fix themselves overnight. Continuing to ignore the problems in a marriage will only make the situation worse. Placing blame with your spouse will not solve the problems that exist in your marriage either. While saving a marriage can mean hard work, salvaging the relationship is well worth the overall effort. - 15784

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