When weve been dumped in a relationship we often do many things to try to get our ex back. Some of them can be helpful, but many of the things we do can hurt or completely ruin our chances of getting our ex back.
The first big mistake that many people make is to apologize too much. You definitely may need to apologize, but saying "I'm sorry" til you're blue in the face doesn't work. If a sincere apology doesn't work, it's because there are things you need to do first, before you apologize.
If you have apologized and it hasn't gotten your ex to take you back, then you need to learn some basic emotional intelligence before you try apologizing again. Two steps you can take BEFORE you apologize are to own up to what you did wrong and then to let your ex vent in a particular way about how they feel about what you did wrong.
Look. You've broken up. Your ex has a heart. Their heart is filled with bad or mad or sad feelings about you, otherwise they wouldn't have left you. There is some emotional intelligence you can learn about helping people to vent or release bad feelings. If you can get your ex to release and talk about their bad feelings about what you did it can really create room in their heart for warm feelings towards you again.
Another mistake lots of people make when trying to get their ex back is to be too needy and desperate. Calling them ten times a day, sobbing, swearing that you'll change if they just give you a chance can make you look weak and desperate.
Yes, you may feel extremely sad and desperate at times. You may feel like there is this big hole in your heart that only your ex can ever fill. But you want to keep that mostly to yourself. Emotional wreck is not attractive!
If your ex gets the desperate/needy vibe, it can generate pity for you. But pity won't get them to want to take you back. Instead, share with them, if appropriate, how much you've learned from losing them.
So avoid endless apologies, and don't let them know how desperate and needy you may feel. If you can not make those two mistakes, you will help your chances of getting them back. - 15784
The first big mistake that many people make is to apologize too much. You definitely may need to apologize, but saying "I'm sorry" til you're blue in the face doesn't work. If a sincere apology doesn't work, it's because there are things you need to do first, before you apologize.
If you have apologized and it hasn't gotten your ex to take you back, then you need to learn some basic emotional intelligence before you try apologizing again. Two steps you can take BEFORE you apologize are to own up to what you did wrong and then to let your ex vent in a particular way about how they feel about what you did wrong.
Look. You've broken up. Your ex has a heart. Their heart is filled with bad or mad or sad feelings about you, otherwise they wouldn't have left you. There is some emotional intelligence you can learn about helping people to vent or release bad feelings. If you can get your ex to release and talk about their bad feelings about what you did it can really create room in their heart for warm feelings towards you again.
Another mistake lots of people make when trying to get their ex back is to be too needy and desperate. Calling them ten times a day, sobbing, swearing that you'll change if they just give you a chance can make you look weak and desperate.
Yes, you may feel extremely sad and desperate at times. You may feel like there is this big hole in your heart that only your ex can ever fill. But you want to keep that mostly to yourself. Emotional wreck is not attractive!
If your ex gets the desperate/needy vibe, it can generate pity for you. But pity won't get them to want to take you back. Instead, share with them, if appropriate, how much you've learned from losing them.
So avoid endless apologies, and don't let them know how desperate and needy you may feel. If you can not make those two mistakes, you will help your chances of getting them back. - 15784
About the Author:
You can discover Immediate Reconnect Strategies to get your ex back in a book about Fix Relationship Problems And Get Your Ex Back. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never discovered In School here at Love Relationship Help.