Friday, February 13, 2009

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

By Nick Matthews

Marriage counseling can really help you out if your marriage is in trouble. Marriage counselors provide you and your spouse with and objective, professional point of view. They aren't biased and focus on helping solve your problems. Marriage counseling helps many married couples build a stronger marriage and happier life.

Marriage counseling can only get you so far though. A large majority of the work must be done by you and your spouse. The marriage counselor will provide the guidance and give sage advice when necessary, but it's the husband and wife the have to do the "real" work. You must be open to adopt the changes suggested by the counselor and give them a chance to work. Marriage counselors are miracle workers, but they can provide you with a much need foundational repair to build a solid marriage going forward.

1. You must decide on attending marriage counseling together. If your spouse isn't "on board" then you are wasting precious time and the counseling will be tainted immediately with resentment.

2. Try to keep and open mind. It will be difficult, but try to get out of the "right and wrong" mindset. The marriage counselor will not point out that you are right and your spouse is wrong. They will offer an objective viewpoint and show you ways that you can improve your marriage.

3. You must be willing to change. If your current actions aren't giving you the results of a happy marriage then why aren't you changing them? This could be something simple like a behavior change, or something significant. This may be one of the most difficult aspects of working on a marriage, but the rewards are wonderful.

4. Give it time. Slow down. Marriage counseling assists couples overcome significant events and actions in their lives. This is not something that can done overnight. To undertake effective marriage counseling, the professional needs to understand each partner and the relationship dynamics. It all takes time.

5. Be honest. Sometimes we think we have to hide or bury our feelings. We might believe our true thoughts will hurt our partner. We could feel embarrassed about our own feelings. It is important that we provide open and honest communication. If not, it will hinder the process. - 15784

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