You know, a big problem with infidelity is that after it occurs and you have kicked out your ex, you often want and need them back. You feel hurt and untrusting, but for your own sake and maybe that of your kids you want them back in your life.
Can you get your ex back without condoning their behavior? Can you bring them back and keep rebuild the trust? Yes, you want your ex back, but you don't want them cheating on you again.
What can you do? Well, there are a few very powerful steps you can take to get your ex back and keep them from cheating on you again. The first step is to have a short, special conversation with them where you set them up to listen to you. You do this by assuring them that you arent going to attack or fight with them, so they just need to listen, not argue or defend or attack.
Once you have done this, you then need to tell them how theyre cheating made you feel. You then vent all of your hurt feelings. Try not to attack, but use I Statements. I feel hurt. I feel betrayed. I feel like I cant trust you again.
You focus on communicating feelings not judgments and criticisms. The critical point is to vent your hurt feelings and to be heard by your partner. This allows you to begin to get those feelings off your chest and release them. You then have room for true forgiveness and a better relationship going forward.
So once you have vented for a bit, you can ask your ex if they understand how they made you feel. If you feel heard by them, you will likely be much more able to begin to forgive them. The next step is to ask if they'll promise not to cheat again. If they agree, you can then talk about taking them back.
The key is not to attack and fight with your ex, but to create a situation where they can hear from you the pain they caused. This creates room for true forgiveness and it begins to rebuild some trust.
There is a lot more to this, but just observing these few steps will help you to resolve some of your negative feelings and move back towards forgiveness and love. With some additional emotional intelligence, you can eventually make your relationship even stronger than before! - 15784
Can you get your ex back without condoning their behavior? Can you bring them back and keep rebuild the trust? Yes, you want your ex back, but you don't want them cheating on you again.
What can you do? Well, there are a few very powerful steps you can take to get your ex back and keep them from cheating on you again. The first step is to have a short, special conversation with them where you set them up to listen to you. You do this by assuring them that you arent going to attack or fight with them, so they just need to listen, not argue or defend or attack.
Once you have done this, you then need to tell them how theyre cheating made you feel. You then vent all of your hurt feelings. Try not to attack, but use I Statements. I feel hurt. I feel betrayed. I feel like I cant trust you again.
You focus on communicating feelings not judgments and criticisms. The critical point is to vent your hurt feelings and to be heard by your partner. This allows you to begin to get those feelings off your chest and release them. You then have room for true forgiveness and a better relationship going forward.
So once you have vented for a bit, you can ask your ex if they understand how they made you feel. If you feel heard by them, you will likely be much more able to begin to forgive them. The next step is to ask if they'll promise not to cheat again. If they agree, you can then talk about taking them back.
The key is not to attack and fight with your ex, but to create a situation where they can hear from you the pain they caused. This creates room for true forgiveness and it begins to rebuild some trust.
There is a lot more to this, but just observing these few steps will help you to resolve some of your negative feelings and move back towards forgiveness and love. With some additional emotional intelligence, you can eventually make your relationship even stronger than before! - 15784
About the Author:
You can learn more about how to get your ex back and recover from cheating in a book about Get Your Ex Back. Johnnie S Laney teaches emotional and relationship intelligence courses and you can get a free course here on Help Your Relationship