It happens in a lot of relationships. One partner becomes too controlling and smothering of their mate. They demand to know where he/she was at all times. Tried to prevent them from spending time with their other friends. Tried to force them to spend all their free time together. In some cases, it gets even worse, requiring them to have dinner ready by certain times, laundry done in a certain way, etc.
This smothers your ex and at some point they give you the boot. What at first was kind of cute or a sign of affection becomes smothering and neurotic. Usually it is males that are too smothering, but it can be women as well. Your partner cant breathe and lose their love for you rather quickly. If they are healthy, they will show you the door and say thanks but no thanks.
So here you are all alone after being too controlling. You would love to get your ex back so you can do better and not make the same mistakes. What can you do?
Well, obviously it depends on how bad it got and how controlling you were. Sometimes you may have created too much damage. Often times you will need counseling and therapy before you get back into any relationship. Confusing love with power over and control is not healthy.
But in many cases you can get them back. The first important step is to understand what you did wrong. If they kicked you out because you were too smothering and controlling you need to really get that such behavior wrongs your mate and they were right to end the relationship because of it. You have to understand that controlling behavior is not love. You have to understand that trying to keep them from seeing their friends, demanding to know where they are at all times when theyre away from you, needing them to spend all their free time with you is not healthy. Youve got love mixed up with power and need and dominance.
Hopefully their kicking you out has awakened you some. People get into relationships for play, love and intimacy, not to be dominated and controlled in the name of love. So if you have learned something from being kicked out, if you can understand how what you did wronged your mate and if truly feel that you dont need to do some of those things again, that is a first important step, and you have a chance to get your ex back.
The next step is to have a particular kind of apology conversation with your ex. Your behavior caused them damage. You will need to own up to the damage you caused. You will then need to let them vent, to listen as they let you know how what you did made them feel. Finally, you will need to convince them that you have learned from them and what they told you, and you wont repeat that behavior. If you can do those things, you may actually have a chance to get your ex back.
There is a lot more to this that we dont have room for, but the key to getting your ex back when you wronged them by being too controlling begins with understanding how damaging such behavior is and seeing your way clear to not needing to repeat that behavior. Then, when you talk to your ex, you will be much more convincing. - 15784
This smothers your ex and at some point they give you the boot. What at first was kind of cute or a sign of affection becomes smothering and neurotic. Usually it is males that are too smothering, but it can be women as well. Your partner cant breathe and lose their love for you rather quickly. If they are healthy, they will show you the door and say thanks but no thanks.
So here you are all alone after being too controlling. You would love to get your ex back so you can do better and not make the same mistakes. What can you do?
Well, obviously it depends on how bad it got and how controlling you were. Sometimes you may have created too much damage. Often times you will need counseling and therapy before you get back into any relationship. Confusing love with power over and control is not healthy.
But in many cases you can get them back. The first important step is to understand what you did wrong. If they kicked you out because you were too smothering and controlling you need to really get that such behavior wrongs your mate and they were right to end the relationship because of it. You have to understand that controlling behavior is not love. You have to understand that trying to keep them from seeing their friends, demanding to know where they are at all times when theyre away from you, needing them to spend all their free time with you is not healthy. Youve got love mixed up with power and need and dominance.
Hopefully their kicking you out has awakened you some. People get into relationships for play, love and intimacy, not to be dominated and controlled in the name of love. So if you have learned something from being kicked out, if you can understand how what you did wronged your mate and if truly feel that you dont need to do some of those things again, that is a first important step, and you have a chance to get your ex back.
The next step is to have a particular kind of apology conversation with your ex. Your behavior caused them damage. You will need to own up to the damage you caused. You will then need to let them vent, to listen as they let you know how what you did made them feel. Finally, you will need to convince them that you have learned from them and what they told you, and you wont repeat that behavior. If you can do those things, you may actually have a chance to get your ex back.
There is a lot more to this that we dont have room for, but the key to getting your ex back when you wronged them by being too controlling begins with understanding how damaging such behavior is and seeing your way clear to not needing to repeat that behavior. Then, when you talk to your ex, you will be much more convincing. - 15784
About the Author:
You can discover more about how to fix the relationship problems caused by controlling behavior and how to get your ex back in a book about Get Your Ex Back Relationship Advice. John Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never discovered In School here at Relationship Advice Help.